Overall the tone is starting to even, especially the darker patches at my cheek bones; and the darker spots are beginning to fade but are still quite noticeable. I noticed that on the few days I’ve worn foundation that they were very easy to cover which is a sign to me that the pigment staining isn’t very deep.
It may seem strange to some that I have a whole beauty routine solely for the skin on my underarms, but those who know what it’s like to have aggravated, irritated, mean looking underarms that get splotchy, red, or hyperpigmented will understand where I’m coming from. Over the years I’ve developed a routine that keeps my sensitive skin happy and as calm as possible.
Unpacking all the reasons why you feel the way you do could take years and is not quite within the scope of this one essay, but let me tell you this: you don’t have to love what you find imperfect about yourself. Really. I don’t know if loving them should be the goal. I come from the if-you-don’t-like-it-change-it-in-a-healthy-and-considered-way camp. If you can’t love them then maybe the goal should be to be all right about them.
Recently my medications that I take to treat my PCOS were severely delayed by nearly two months due to troubles with my physician changing practices, my mail order pharmacy changing servicing companies, and Walgreens for being genuinely terrible with customer service and their mail order arm of the company. By the time I got what I needed the symptoms of PCOS were in full swing especially all over my face. Now I’m dealing with the aftermath of a hormonal breakout which for me and my melanin rich skin means post-inflammatory hyperpigmentation (PIH) .
My evolution into wigs as my primary form of hair styling is over a decade in the making. I began dabbling with them in early college as a way to cover up my hair when I just didn’t feel like dealing with it, but didn’t have the time or money to get a sew-in. Now they are such a ubiquitous part of my routine that I forget sometimes how averse I used to be to them.
Though I haven’t tried this brand before I’ve been drinking the sheet mask kool aid for about five years now. Thank the universe for the Korean Wave because now they’re everywhere and I hope they’ll be here to stay.
I haven’t reached the end when it comes to my hormone disorder and I’m okay that because it’s just another part of being me. I’ve learned that I don’t have to be moody all the time or have crippling menstrual cycles or crazy acne. I can feel peace within my body thanks to a hawk like attention to my diet, exercise, and symptoms; and three kick ass medical professionals in my corner who helped me get the chance to live my best life.
I was hesitant to try a color other than 1B because I’ve seen some colors that look one way online and in person you start chastising yourself because you knew better. When I took it out of the packaging I was excited it. The color is beautiful: dark browns with a shot of caramel throughout with darker brown roots.
So I think I have some kind of follicular dysmorphic disorder. Longer length isn’t the most important thing, but it’s definitely something I want to achieve. I can say that after seeing these pictures I wouldn’t be proud to walk around with my hair down like this. It’s not bad but it ain’t great either. Certainly not the look I’m going for that’s for sure.